Cabernet Sauvignon – Consumption Manual

(by Anonymous Wine Lover)

Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
Do you suffer from shyness?
Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?
Do you sometimes feel stressed?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your
doctor or pharmacist about Cabernet Sauvignon!
(*Disclaimer we are not advocating alcohol consumption and certainly not for minors. This article is meant as a lighthearted tongue-in-cheek piece)

Cabernet Sauvignon is the safe, natural way to feel better
and more confident. It can help ease you out of your shyness
and let you tell the world that you’re ready and willing to
do just about anything.

You will notice the benefits of Cabernet Sauvignon almost
immediately and, with a regimen of regular doses, you’ll
overcome obstacles that prevent you from living the life you

Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past. You
will discover talents you never knew you had.


Cabernet Sauvignon may not be right for everyone. Women who
are pregnant or nursing should not use it but women who
wouldn’t mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to
try it.

Side Effects May Include:
Dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, loss of motor
control, loss of clothing, loss of money, delusions of
grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth,
and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night Strip Poker,
Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.

The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may make you think you
are whispering when you are not.

The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may cause you to tell
your friends over and over again that you love them.

The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may cause you to think
you can sing.

The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may create the
illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster, and better
looking than most people.

Chardonnay, Scotch, Vodka, Bourbon, Tequila, and of course Beer may
be substituted for Cabernet Sauvignon, with similar results!

Please feel free to share this important information!


To contact Paige Donner for speaking/hosting/producing
For more info about Paris GOODfood+wine and a complete show lineup go to
And our website
Instagram @paigefoodwine Twitter @parisfoodwine

Listen to Paris GOOD food + wine on :





All photos (where noted) copyright 2017 Paige Donner

Photo Bookings FoodWine.Photography

iTunes – Paris GOODfood+wine / 

Prints available by contacting   


One thought on “Cabernet Sauvignon – Consumption Manual

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s